Posts Tagged ‘lol’

yea I’m certified… TO OWN!!!

So yea I just got my zombie recertifications the other day
image yea its expired but they know I’m good for it and I figured I’m gonna need it because where I stay, dead heads r on the rise again. Looks like I’m fittin to get me sum overtime in. Anywho I got a call from a fellow “exterminator” who mentioned these new types of flesh bags he dubbed, “fat-fart”.
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Apparently he’s been on the receiving end of one of these “fat fart” attacks, according to him their quick on their feet and r strangely attracted to flushing toilets, they also won’t hesitate to spew the illustrated peeyuu in the pic when close enough, but be extra careful if u encounter a male fat fart, those sons of sardines can hit u from several yards away with disturbing accuracy, depending on which way the weather blows. Personally I’m lactose intolerant to fire, I can’t stand it, its all hot and stuff. Thats just me now, so when I heard this, I’m not gonna lie to u, it made me wonton for a freezer asap.

image Now I’m an old liberator of the living, I’ve been fighting zombies since the dawn of the dead so there ain’t much that I haven’t seen already. But its getting hairy out there, well at least I am, I haven’t shaved in months, but that’s not my point. With a new type like the fat fart roaming the streets, its just that much more dangerous to walk outside with just a bat and a pair of socks, u gotta arm up and take thoughs buggers out from a distance. Just a friendly blog to update would be zombie hunters who may encounter this new type, keep ur eyes open,  ur nose open, ur nose booger free and try not to flush any toilets or else they’ll come running. And spewing. Happy hunting.
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Yea, I’m certified. TO OWN!!!

Zombies huh? 
So yea I just got my zombie recertifications the other day, I figured I’m gonna need it because where I stay, dead heads r on the rise again. Looks like I’m fittin to get me sum overtime in. Anywho I got a call from a fellow “exterminator” who mentioned these new types of flesh bags he dubbed, “fat-fart”. 
Apparently he’s been on the receiving end of one of these “fat fart” attacks, according to him their quick on their feet and r strangely attracted to flushing toilets, they also won’t hesitate to spew the illustrated peeyuu in the pic when close enough, but be extra careful if u encounter a male fat fart, those sons of sardines can hit u from several yards away with disturbing accuracy, depending on which way the weather blows. Personally I’m lactose intolerant to fire, I can’t stand it, its all hot and stuff. Thats just me now, so when I heard this, I’m not gonna lie to u, it made me wonton for a freezer asap.

Now I’m an old liberator of the living, I’ve been fighting zombies since the dawn of the dead so there ain’t much that I haven’t seen already. But its getting hairy out there, well at least I am, I haven’t shaved in months, but that’s not my point. With a new type like the fat fart roaming the streets, its just that much more dangerous to walk outside with just a bat and a pair of socks, u gotta arm up and take thoughs buggers out from a distance. Just a friendly blog to update would be zombie hunters who may encounter this new type, keep ur eyes open,  ur nose open, ur nose booger free and try not to flush any toilets or else they’ll come running. And spewing.
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Having a super powered gf 0_o

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What would it be like to have a super powered girlfriend? Don’t act like u haven’t thought about it. Having a chick in ur corner that could throw fist with the likes of superman and hancock any day would be a fantasy come true for many comic buffs and sci fi(oh excuse me, Sy fi) nuts. I wouldn’t mind honestly but u would have to cancel out being the “man” of the house. Like ur super powered girlfriend would basically be the man of the relationship and she would remind u every time she has to rescue u from her super powered enemies every other day because their going to kidnap u often. Sad I know, and don’t get me started on how awkward reminiscing will be. Imagine every other talk about old times has sumthing to do with “hey do u remember when u saved me from” or “I remember the time I was held hostage by Docter ButtonMouth and ” and so on and so on. Basically u would be accounting to ur girlfriends awesomeness all the time.

On the upside, if ur a submissive guy and can get around those minor grips, ur relationship with a super powered girlfriend has its many perks. For instance, if ANYONE gets in ur face, she can just throw them 7 states away with one hand. She’s bound to be “super aroused”, and by “super aroused” I mean really horned up often. That’s my logic lol. Anyway u can guarantee that the sex will be explosive, nonstop and filled with u having a crushed pelvis. Eh, it evens itself out I think. U decide.