Yea, I’m certified. TO OWN!!!

Zombies huh? 
So yea I just got my zombie recertifications the other day, I figured I’m gonna need it because where I stay, dead heads r on the rise again. Looks like I’m fittin to get me sum overtime in. Anywho I got a call from a fellow “exterminator” who mentioned these new types of flesh bags he dubbed, “fat-fart”. 
Apparently he’s been on the receiving end of one of these “fat fart” attacks, according to him their quick on their feet and r strangely attracted to flushing toilets, they also won’t hesitate to spew the illustrated peeyuu in the pic when close enough, but be extra careful if u encounter a male fat fart, those sons of sardines can hit u from several yards away with disturbing accuracy, depending on which way the weather blows. Personally I’m lactose intolerant to fire, I can’t stand it, its all hot and stuff. Thats just me now, so when I heard this, I’m not gonna lie to u, it made me wonton for a freezer asap.

Now I’m an old liberator of the living, I’ve been fighting zombies since the dawn of the dead so there ain’t much that I haven’t seen already. But its getting hairy out there, well at least I am, I haven’t shaved in months, but that’s not my point. With a new type like the fat fart roaming the streets, its just that much more dangerous to walk outside with just a bat and a pair of socks, u gotta arm up and take thoughs buggers out from a distance. Just a friendly blog to update would be zombie hunters who may encounter this new type, keep ur eyes open,  ur nose open, ur nose booger free and try not to flush any toilets or else they’ll come running. And spewing.


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